Goodbye to the Jungle

I only have a bit more time with this Internet connection, before I have to haul my ass off to the Manaus airport ahead of a 4:10am flight out to São Paulo. I'll write a more detailed entry on my time touring into the Amazon jungle later, but, just in case anybody else reading this blog has a blazing desire to go into the Amazonian jungle, like, right now, I feel I have to post this public service announcement.

(In reality: public service announcement be damned. I just feel that if Jen, Elaine, Emma and Karin get back to civilisation tomorrow and don't find a totally whiny blog entry from me, they'll feel that I was lying to them about my personality during our entire three days in the jungle together.)

If you want to go into the Amazon jungle, make sure you really want to go. I mean, really, REALLY, REALLY want to go. 

Do NOT go into the Amazon if any of the following are a deal-breaker for you:

1. Mosquitoes.
2. Sweating.
   
3. Oppressive Sun During the Day; Mosquitoes At Night.
4. Spiders and / or Insects.
5. Never Feeling Clean.
   
6. Having to Walk Around Knowing Almost Everything in the Jungle Can Kill You.
7. Having to Choose Between Mosquito Bites, Or Sweating While Covered Up.
8. Sweating Even While Not Covered Up.
9. Sweating, At Night, While Just Sitting Around Doing Nothing.
10. Mosquitoes.

I suppose you could avoid everything I mentioned by going to a five-star lodge in a clear-cut patch of the jungle, where you sit in air-conditioned comfort, with people serving up endless caprihainas and passion-fruit juice; while doing nothing but stare at a large TV screen flashing up endless scenes of the river, the jungle and all the wildlife you never get to see in reality without lying in the dirt for days on end.

But where would the fun in that be?

(Disclaimer: The five-star lodges I mentioned I made up for comedic effect. They do not exist. At least I hope they don't.)